it’s the first day of the semester

September 4, 2007

And you know what that means. Well, you do if you’re unlucky enough to be around the NYU area:

* freshmen in sweat-pants toting expensive bags, carrying glossy cards inviting them to “party” at “the hottest club in town” and/or NYU paraphernalia advertising extracurriculars

* those assholes who stand on the corner asking “Do you like comedy?” (Soon to be followed by the Children’s International and Greenpeace people). This is all the fault of the freshmen, who are obvious, naive fresh meat.

* desperate socialization. “So, what class are you going to? Oh, that’s cool. Do you want to go to the dining hall later?” Often marked by hordes of 8 or more kids walking together from one place to another, scared of being alone for even a second.

I understand. I was a freshmen myself, not so long ago. But you know what? You’ll learn to dress properly in public one of these days (unless you’re in Stern, in which case you think it’s cool to pop your collar and saunter around in faux-expensive business attire), how to stare down those guilt-tripping sidewalk whores, and none of these people whose company you so desperately want right now will be your friends when you’re a senior. And someday, just like me, you’ll feel guilty about turning a cool area into an obnoxious campus.

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